Antigone (2023)

Antigone is made with charcoal, acrylic paint, and pieces of one of my old journals, on a streched canvas sizes 100 x 80 centimeters.

Antigone means the one who is of opposite opinion, unwavering belief, and anti-generation, meaning in opposition of the previous one.

For me, she symbolizes all the stuff that I’ve carried for others, and because of others, not knowing that I was denied the choice to say no to doing that.

I don’t really like talking about it, but I am a survivor.

I’ve experienced different kinds of violence and abuse.

My experiences makes it difficult for me to trust people, especially men. I act like I am much more independent than I would actually prefer. I struggle a lot with letting other people help me and comfort me, and to be able to truly relax in their company, because the only way to know I am safe is if I am alone.

I have found ways to protect myself, that generally means keeping other people out, because other people have trespassed one too many times. They have taken from me what was never theirs, and filled me with what was never mine, and I still pay the price for their actions.

I wish things had been different.

I wish I didn’t know their cruelty and entitlement so intimately.

I paint and make art as a way to express the things that I find difficult or even impossible to express with words. Some of that is guided by forgiveness, and mercy. I understand why some things happened. And I don’t wish to blame someone who themselves are survivors. I wish they had dealt with it better, and perhaps left me out of it, but I get why it went down the way it did, and I don’t want to add blame to injury.

And then there’s the stuff that I am just not able to speak of.

And then there’s the things in life that can never be spoken and understood linearly. Like when you are feeling something very deeply, and you know that if you try to explain what is going on to someone, the magic of that moment can never be translated through words.

And that’s just the way it is.

Antigone
2023
Mixed media on canvas
100 x 80 cm

24 000,-
(+ shipping costs)

12-24 month installment plan available, use contact form to make an inquiry.